Happy Birthday Elysse!/Time to Dispel the Rumors...

First of all, Happy Birthday to my dear sister Elysse who is 23 today! You keep on living missy! Congrats to you and best wishes. Today was also a great first day of school, short of one thing. Sorry to avert your attention away from the birthday/first day of school fanfare, but there are a few rumors I have to dispel. You're hearing it here first people! From the source too.

While I appreciate people's daily (ahem, sorry, minutely) reminders that I'm a brunette albino, you can't expect me to be über schocked every time you tell me. For example

Person who is not me: "Nicole! Oh my gosh have you noticed how blindingly white you are? You're so white. Did you know that about yourself?"

Me the first time: "No, oh my gosh. Thank you for notifying me, or else I might have lived my whole life without knowing!"

Me the 27th time: "(sarcastically) Yeah, ok, thank you for that."

Person who is not me after the 27th time: "You know what? I better get some shades because looking at you is like staring into the sun!"

To avoid more of these types of conversations:

1. Here is a shocker for some folks. I have no desire to acquire more melanin. I think everyone looks better without skin cancer.

2. You do not need sunglasses in my presence. I don't blind people. That is a myth.

3. I do not glow in the dark. I do not glow in "black light." Although, that would be pretty awesome if I turned green in low light. Unfortunately, I am not radioactive. Sorry to disappoint.

4. I do not have any form of albinism. Most of you may have noticed my hair is not white, nor is it blonde.

Now that this is posted (even though no one will ever read it), I am hoping to have a hastle-free senior year without any pestering.

Much love and sweet dreams,

Applebaum the Third.

So apparently, I'm boring...

Hey all! Sorry I stopped writing for so long, but apparently being busy and happy is boring. I am not bored by my boringness. In fact, I have been having more bizarre/vivid dreams this week than the rest of the summer combined. Weird. Sorry to be vague, but my sister founded Vague Magazine. I guess it's in my blood. Today's breaking news headline would be something like this: "Thing Happens to Person Somewhere." For the page number, it would say "in the magazine" or "find it yourself." I think if I edited that magazine, it would be void of all adverbs, since no one seems to use those anymore anyway. If you want to see the article I mentioned above, it would read: Things went bad.

See! No adverbs whatsoever! Isn't that great? Don't take my lack of adverbs personal. (-;

Have a vague day!

Love,

Applebaum the Third.