Today in St. Louis

Today. Whoa! So crazy.
Started my morning with math class. Then I was in a photo shoot for admissions. Then I had a quiz in chem and an exam in physics, among other things. I also found keys on the library floor between my quiz and exam, and found the owner. Yay for good deeds! I missed Jonathan Safran Foer since his talk was during my test. Oh well. I saw pictures. Apparently he is young and good looking. I went to the EnCouncil meeting and did some spinning afterward.
Long, good day. Stressing so so weird. I stress even though I know things will work out in the end. But I can't skip the stressing part. Ever. I have decreased the magnitude of my stress, but it's still present.
TBC,
ATT

PS. Next week is going to be nuts!
Tuesday: Chem test and physics lab;
Wednesday BME test and 100 other activities
Thursday: Birthday and chem lab!
Saturday: WILD (the concert)!
Sunday: The home plate, PLTL, PST!

Update on Life

I am doing well! Sorry for the super, super, way too long gap of not writing. There have been ups and downs here, but I love it. Nothing about my life is the same, but I am still me. More average than before, working harder than ever. I am proud to be here as me. There is so much to update, I can't even begin to start. I can't even SAY half of what I want to on the internet. I've met so many people. Some look like people I knew in VP, some have similar personalities to people I've met before... Some are way smarter than I can ever hope to be... Some must have slipped in. I used to resent those people who got into schools above their capability level. Now I pity them more than anything else (until they end up in my study group circle. Then it's another story).

I dream of driving off of campus, being on Lemon Street in Villa Park, and going to Rubios. All the time. I take morning showers. I exercise by "spinning." I need tutors for almost everything. Or at the very least, I talk to other people about my problem sets so much more. I am accountable for everything I do. I am in a campus bubble 98% of the time. Even on weekends. I am nervous I won't be able to get to Target before I start running out of stuff. This week, I have no class on Tuesday's after 10 AM, so I guess if I don't have too much homework, I will go to Target.

I am quieter in class. I listen more. I have to. I have much less to contribute academically anymore... Or maybe I have relatively less because everyone else has more. And that, well... That's just fine by me. I was tired of discussing things in class by myself anyway. Here, people discuss in class and out. It's novel. And while partying happens, and people get smashed and break glasses wearing tin foil masks and bright pink spandex shorts, life is filled with the rich promise that I, too, can do whatever I so choose. Last night I did multivariable calculus and partied. I went to bed this morning at 2:30 AM and woke back up at 7:30 AM to go share my love of engineering with young girls in my SWE shirt and green WUSTL hard hat. I haven't gained a pound since I've been here. It's all on me. I am owning up to my shortcomings, learning to cope, becoming an independent adult.

I love. I think I would love anyone who came within 10 feet of me right now. To those of you who are not able to come within 10 feet of me (my family), I have gained a new perspective on just how precious you are. Even the members who sometimes annoy me or yell at me for no good reason or make a point to bring me down. I have also gained a deep appreciation for snail mail. It's such a beautiful thing. I hope they keep it around forever.

TBC (sooner, hopefully, rather than later),
Nicole, who is almost nineteen(!?!?!)